Tag Archives: game

December 14, 2012 · 5:57 pm

A Simple Game For Building a Stronger Family

stronger familyJohn Gottman, PhD, who is basically the king of marriage therapy in my opinion, gets couples to play a game to enhance a couple’s Love Maps. The general concept is that each person in a relationship has a “love map” in which they store information about their partner. The relationships that last have partners with “full” love maps. In other words, they know a lot about their partner’s dreams, fears, goals, hopes, quirks, likes, dislikes, and so on.

This concept of the love map has me thinking lately… I wonder if this can apply to families as well? Are happy families also in tune with one another on a deep emotional level as well? By pulling from the idea of Gottman’s love map for couples, I have come up with questions for families. This game can be played with children from preschool on up, but questions may be modified. If you don’t like these, or think of more great questions, go ahead and change it up a bit. And if you have good questions, please share with the rest of us! :)

Step 1: As a family, decide upon 10 numbers between 1 and 40.

Step 2: One family member at a time takes a number and the corresponding question from the list below and asks another family member to answer. The person asking may choose who they want to ask this question. If other members want to voluntarily share their answer, they may do so only after the first person chosen has answered.

Final Tip: There is not much to this game other than answering some questions, so I recommend doing it over pizza, during a winter camp fire, before starting a movie, or just before bed time.

Questions:

  1. If you were an animal, what would you be and why?
  2. When do you get angry?
  3. What are your three favorite past times?
  4. What is your ideal vacation and who would you bring?
  5. If you received a $5000 gift, how would you spend it?
  6. If you could be the top player in any sport, what would it be?
  7. Describe one of you happiest memories with your family.
  8. What do you like most about yourself?
  9. What do you like most about your family?
  10. What is your favorite season of the year?
  11. What do you desire most for your birthday this year?
  12. Where do you see yourself in 5 years?
  13. Where do you see yourself in 15 years?
  14. What book or magazine are you currently reading?
  15. What is your favorite board game?
  16. What is your favorite card game?
  17. What talents are you most proud of?
  18. Share a time when your feelings were hurt.
  19. Tell about a time when you felt proud of yourself.
  20. Tell about a time when you felt supported by one, or more, person in your family.
  21. Tell about a time when you stood up for someone or something.
  22. What do you feel challenged by lately?
  23. Where is your favorite room in the house?
  24. Where do you feel safest?
  25. Say three words to describe how you are feeling right now.
  26. If you could be invisible, where would you go?
  27. If you could have a super power, what would it be?
  28. What are your three favorite foods?
  29. What do you like most about yourself?
  30. If you discovered a burried treasure, what would you hope to be inside?
  31. If you could change one thing about your life, what would it be?
  32. If everything in your life changed except for one thing, what would be the one thing that stayed the same?
  33. If you could have lunch with a famous person, who would it be?
  34. What is the greatest change that has ever taken place in your life?
  35. What values have you learned from your parents?
  36. Who do you most desire to be like?
  37. What is your favorite cartoon?
  38. Talk about a time when someone helped you.
  39. Talk about a time when you helped someone.
  40. What is your favorite section at the zoo?

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April 11, 2012 · 6:19 pm

A Simple Explanation of Play Therapy

I meet with a lot of parents who are bringing their child for play therapy, either because they were referred by another child professional, or they just figured they would give it a shot to help them with their child’s behavior. However, most do not really grasp what play therapy means or what a play therapist does with the child. So, what does a play  therapist do during a session?

My favorite explanation is to use the image of adult therapy. I call it the “Couch Explanation.”

When you think of an adult getting counseling, you think of someone sitting on a couch, talking to the therapist while they listen to your problems. The counselor may point out patterns they notice in your life, help you reframe certain ideas, reflect your feelings, and even teach you some therapeutic techniques. You would feel you have a a safe place to express yourself, talk about intimate details of your life, and process events that have happened, or are happening, in your life.

When a child comes to play therapy, it is very much the same. Sometimes the child uses words and other times they use play or art to communicate and express thoughts and emotion. Similar to working with adults, the play therapist will reflect the child’s feelings, point out patterns, likes, and dislikes they notice. They may also teach the child techniques to help them identify feelings, cope with their anger, or socialize at school. And most importantly, the play room is set up to be a safe place for the child to express themselves and process various things in their life. For example, a child struggling because their parents divorced and now they are living in a new house and going to a new school will definitely need to process all that has happened in order to move on.

As a Registered Play Therapist, I really believe in the power of play therapy. I have witnessed the benefits and encourage parents to seek out a play therapist if their child is struggling.

Please visit the Association for Play Therapy website for more information on play therapy and Registered Play Therapists!

If you have experience with this as a parent or professional, I would love to hear other explanations you have found helpful!

You may also like: Bringing Back Old Fashioned Play!

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March 28, 2012 · 2:06 am

Angry Paper Toss

I have to share an activity I recently found online by Dr. Amy Wickstrom that has been a wonderful tool in therapy. I began using this just last week since the weather has been so beautiful. I have to admit that I figured some of the kids I brought out for this activity would only half way participate. However, to my surprise, all the kids have enjoyed this exercise! Many people have a difficult time saying what makes them angry and are more comfortable writing it down or drawing a picture. Plus, the physical activity and fresh air also got them to open up even more. This activity can be used for most any age, even adults! It can also be done with one person writing or in a group. I also encourage families to do this activity together!

Here is how it works:

1. Gather together some large white paper, markers, napkins or toilet paper, tape, and a container of water.

2. Tape up the paper somewhere, like the side of a building, or even on a driveway.

3. Have each participant write down situations or people that make them angry. I also allowed them to include things that annoy them. Also, some kids chose to draw pictures rather than write in words.

4. Dip the napkins in water. The more soaked the paper is, the better it sticks. The marker actually drips down and the words or drawing fade. Visually seeing their words or drawing drip and fade away was a lot of fun for the kids, and me!

5. Right after the activity, process how it felt to write down their anger. Ask how it felt to toss the paper at the drawings. And finally, talk about how you feel after. If you are doing this as part of therapy, processing the activity is key to really dealing with the issues. As a family, just completing the activity can get people to open up with one another and promote bonding.

Please view the Angry Toilet Paper Toss video by Dr. Wickstrom and let me know how it works for you! I’m sure she would love to hear about your thoughts as well (www.morethanatoy.com)!

You may also enjoy:

Good Job Kiddo!

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March 7, 2012 · 10:22 pm

Totika Game

Totika is one of my favorite therapy tools to use with clients 7 years and older. I even recommend parents buy this game to play with your family. It is similar to Jenga, except it comes with questions that you answer between each piece that is pulled from the tower. I’m sure my fellow therapists out there are familiar with this one and hopefully they have as much success as I do. It comes with a Self-Esteem Deck of Cards, but you can also buy the Teen-Adult Questions as well.

There are literally thousands of questions, but here are a few of the them just to give you an idea of what to expect:

Self-Esteem Questions-

  • If you are feeling unmotivated, who helps you get yourself going?
  • If you thought someone was laughing at you, what might you do?
  • What might you feel when you make a wise decision?
  • If you could get rid of one thing that irritates you, what would it be?
  • What might you be able to teach others?
  • What would you like to see change for you in the future?
  • Who are three of your role models?
  • Who notices when you do something well?

Teen-Adult Questions:

  • If you had it all to do again, what might you like to know sooner in life?
  • What are you doing to live a healthy life?
  • If you could be successful at anything, what might you do?
  • What are your three highest priorities in life?
  • What is the single most important choice you have made?
  • How might you describe faith?
  • What has brought you immense joy in life?

As you can see, there are a lot of really good questions that encourage thought and self-reflection. This game can be purchased online at www.selfhelpwarehouse.com or possibly www.childtherapytoys.com for around $20. Have fun! :)

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