Tag Archives: self care

Rest, Wishing I Had More!

Getting sleep and feeling well rested is not a luxury I will be experiencing in the next couple months, being that I now have a newborn. Already, just a week later, I have noticed the irritability and slowness in my general functioning. Some of this can be the pospartum changes, but a lack of sleep does take its toll on a person.

When I was in undergrad, I was fascinated with the connection between a person’s emotional and physical health and spent a lot of time learning more about the mind-body connection. No matter what the health topic may be- cancer, heart disease, or stress- the body and psyche will likely be working hand-in-hand.

I recently read an article from Science Daily titled Nap Deprived Tots May Be Missing Out On More Than Sleep.

The study shows toddlers between 2 and a half and 3 years old who miss only a single daily nap show more anxiety, less joy and interest and a poorer understanding of how to solve problems, said CU-Boulder Assistant Professor Monique LeBourgeois, who led the study.

When my son was 14 months old, we went through some transitions and his schedule only allowed for one nap a day instead of two. This was a very difficult transition for him because he loves his sleep and was not getting as much as he wanted, or needed. When he missed that extra nap during the day, he was more irritable, easily frustrated, and his engagement with us was mostly to nestle his face in our lap out of fatigue, rather than his usual playful interaction.

Lack of Sleep Hurts

I previously posted an article on the importance of exercise and mental health, “Reasons to Get Moving!,” but sleep can be considered equally important. In fact, sleeping patterns and changes is something I discuss with clients in counseling. If someone is not getting adequate sleep  there will be effects on their memory and learning, mood, concentration, reaction times, and even relationships. 

Who Is Missing Out?

In my experience, teens and parents are the two major groups who report lacking sleep the most. Teenagers are almost always at a high risk of sleep deprivation. They stay up late, texting and talking on the phone, only to get up early for school. They often complain of fatigue and boredome during the day and parents report they are highly irritable and difficult to get along with, not to mention the grades suffer as well. I really believe a part of those complaints is due to lack of sleep.

Parents also report not getting enough sleep. In my own personal experience, as a mother of a toddler, I really don’t think I have  truly felt rested in over two years. As a parent, your mind is never completely free from worry or things to get done. This fatigue can have a negative effect on a couple’s relationship, as well as our relationships with friends and co-workers.

So What Can You Do?

Most of these suggestions are common sense, so they are really just my way of bringing the issue to your attention and maybe give you that extra nudge to make some small changes in your life that can help.

  • TRY to find more time in your schedule to sleep. I can hear many of you laughing at me already, but take a few moments to think about what you may be able to cut out of your morning or evening time to allow for more sleep. For example, maybe twice a week you and your spouse can alternate who wakes up with the kids to let the other sleep in, or who will do the dishes after dinner.
  • Maintain a regular pre-sleep routine. Whether you take a bath or read a book, it’s important to give your body signals that it’s time to shut down for the day. Same goes for your kids and teens.
  • Be aware of the effects of fatigue. You may not be able to add much more sleep into your schedule, so being aware of the effects that your lack of sleep can have on you will be important. If you feel grouchy and know you need more rest, be careful how you respond to others, especially your family. It’s easy to take it out on other people!

Here are some more articles you may find interesting. After you read these, get some rest!

Web MD What Lack of Sleep Does To Your Mind

National Center on Sleep Disorders Research article titled Sleep and Early Brain Development and Plasticity.

You may also be interested in:

Reasons to Get Moving

Shoes, A Teen, and Depression

No Longer a Supermom Wannabe!

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Filed under Child Development, Self Care

Self Care Quick Tip (with a little comic relief!)

I know this feeling well! If you have read my posts, you know how I feel about taking care of yourself. I encourage you to find time for that “Me Time” you so deserve. Not only is it good for you, but because you are a model for your family.

Ask yourself if you want your daughter to grow up and sacrifice her health for the laundry, or your son to work weekends instead of spending it with his family. Remember, they learn by what we do, not necessarily by what we say!

 

You may also like: Living In The Moment, Deep Breathing, and No Longer a Supermom Wannabe!

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Filed under Family Life, Quick Tips, Self Care

Living “In the Moment”

As I was rocking Max the other night, lullaby music playing and lights dim, I caught myself thinking of all the things I needed to do that night, the next day, and so on. I suddenly realized I was missing out on such a special moment, with my sweet toddler on my lap and my unborn baby girl in my belly. Here I was, in the silence of night, with the most precious gifts a women can receive.Throughout the day, my toddler is active and expressing as much independence as he possibly can; but at night, after the the hectic moments of dinner and bath, I get to rock him to sleep in my arms. Yet, I almost missed out on the experience because my mind was somewhere else.

Too often, we get so busy that we forget to live in the moment, robbing ourselves of what life is really all about. An unknown author  said it perfectly:

“When I am anxious it is because I am living in the future.  When I am depressed it is because I am living in the past.”

This couldn’t be a truer statement, yet why is it such a struggle for people? I think it’s because living in the moment actually requires conscious effort on our part. Our lives today are so busy that we have a hard time slowing down and actually relishing in the moments that make life so special. Like most fields of thought, there are the extreme thinkers, those who strive to practice “mindfulness” every moment of the day. I’m not one of those people. There are bills to plan for, grocery lists to make, and events to take place in our lives that steal our thoughts and energy sometimes. And as for the past, I love to remember people and events in my life. In fact, retaining a solid memory to hold on to is one of the reasons I think it is so important to become more aware of some of our most special moments in the present.

Whether you are someone who tends to nostalgically think about the past or anxiously worry about the future, slowing down is possible.

  1. Increase your self awareness. Become aware of your feelings, thoughts, and body. What is your breathing like at the moment? Is your mind racing?
  2. Take notice of your environment. What are the sights and sounds around you? Is there a breeze on your face or a warm sun?
  3. Practice deep breathing and prayer and meditation regularly. This quiet time for yourself is essential for your physical and psychological well being.
  4. Make an effort to notice when you are thinking about other things at a time when you should be concentrating on the here and now.

Cherish each moment, each hour in each day,
The enemy, Time, just keeps slipping away.
Life passes so swiftly and waits for no man,
So cherish each second while you still can.

One moment of anger is one moment lost,
You can never regain it, but that is the cost
Of moments we squander on hatred and fear.
Too late we discover the cost was too dear.

Cherish your loved ones before it’s too late,
In case life without them is part of your fate,
Tell them you love them while they are still here,
So they’ll know their existence is what you hold dear.

Don’t waste time reflecting on trivial matters
Don’t worry and fret while watching dreams shatter,
Grab hold of those moments and turn life around,
Just cherish those moments while they still abound.

We cannot step backward to relive one hour.
Recapturing time is not in our power,
And as we grow older, time goes by much faster,
So cherish each moment, they’re gifts from the Master.

By Shirley Love

I also suggest a post from Finding Joy, but warning, you may cry!

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No Longer A Supermom Wannabe!

A couple months ago I found myself stressed out and feeling like I was constantly going. I imagined myself as a mouse on a wheel, spinning away and not getting anywhere. I had to take a step back and look at what was going on in my life that led me to feel this way. It’s not good for me, my family, or my clients when I am tired and over-stressed. I had to identify those things in my life that were pulling me down and below is the worksheet I used to help me with this. I identified several areas in which I could make changes. I was expecting myself to be Supermom and Superwife! One example: I was making breakfast for Max every morning, which included scrambled eggs and fresh fruit. If I couldn’t meet my own expectation, I would be frustrated and disappointed. I finally had to make a choice that breakfast would sometimes be as simple as a banana and cereal bar. I know what some of you are thinking, but hey, everyone’s got something right?! :)

Energy_Drainers[1]

Whether you have no kids, one kid, multiple kids, plus or minus a spouse and pets, life can get busy! It’s so easy for us to forget about ourselves and get into the routine of tackling the day-to-day tasks on our list. What’s not even mentioned in the above scenario is all the emotional drama you may be carrying around with you all day, such as financial stress or dealing with a difficult co-worker. Emotional energy is just as draining as anything else.

When I say “energy drainers”, I am referring to people, situations, activities, obligations and responsibilities that take physical and emotional energy from our day, such as baseball practice, long hours at work, etc. “Energy givers” are just the opposite of an energy drainer. Energy givers may be as simple as eating breakfast in the morning, daily devotions, and exercise.

I encourage anyone to make a list of their energy drainers and energy givers. Eliminate those areas of your life that drain you and add in those things that give you energy. You don’t have to be a Superhero!

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Filed under Self Care