Tag Archives: stress

February 28, 2013 · 6:38 pm

Adventures Within Relaxation CD

Adventures Within Relaxation and Guided Imagery CD

I bought this CD many months ago and have finally taken the time to start listening. I love Adventures Within so much, I wanted to share it with you all!

Kids Relaxation (www.kidsrelaxation.com) is one  of my favorite blogs. It’s filled with wonderful ideas for teaching kids (and adults) relaxation techniques using quite a bit of guided imagery.

Here is what I love so far:

  • The CD was a purchase I made to use with kids in session, but I have actually found it to be useful for myself, and for adults too.
  • The female voice narrating is both calming, as well as kid-friendly. In other words, it is relaxing, but will still keep kids engaged.
  • The CD starts out by teaching HOW to relax through imagination, deep breathing (she calls it balloon breathing), and positive self talk.
  • There are numerous guided imagery scenaries on the CD.
  • I am still working my way through the entire CD, but so far my favorite is Finding Strength in the Storm. And Finding Strength in the Storm mp3 Downloadguess what? You can purchase each one separately on mp3. I linked you to my favorite, but certainly suggest listening to more than one.

If you have a relaxation or guided imagery CD or mp3 you enjoy, please share!

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February 4, 2013 · 11:10 am

Local Spotlight: Depression and Bipolar Support Groups In Houston, Texas Area

Depression and Bipolar Support Groups, Houston, TXI can’t say enough about the importance of support systems in our lives. Whether your are a new mother and connecting with other new moms online, parenting a child diagnosed with a disability seeking resources, or on the road to recovering from addiction and attending regular support groups, connecting with others is vital to your success in overcoming the challenges of your circumstance.

I had the pleasure of meeting Jami Edwards last week at Kingwood Pines Hospital for a continuing education hour on nutrition and mental health, who works with DBSA, Depression and Bipoar Support Alliance. This organization offers free support groups in and around the Houston, Texas area.

She provided me this list (below) of Open Support Groups for individuals and families dealing with Depression and Bipolar Disorder. I encourage you the check their website regularly for an updated list as well.

Depression and Bipolar Support Groups Houston, Texas area.

Given that I live and work in the Houston, Texas area, I would love to hear if you have resources and information on support groups in mental and behavioral health. Please feel free to pass along! :)

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January 23, 2013 · 10:57 am

Activities to Inspire and Motivate Teachers

I often receive excellent questions from readers and have decided to start posting some of them so we can all learn something! If you have a question, please don’t hesitate to email me!

I recently received this question from LaMonica, a school social worker in Chicago (one of my favorite vaca spots!):

inspire and motivate teachers 2

I am a school social worker in Chicago and love your blog :)   I am sometimes asked by my principal to give a short staff development activity to our teachers, and I would love some new ideas.  Generally when this happens I am not given a specific directive about a topic, but rather I am just asked to ‘do
something social/emotional’, often not something relating to students per say but rather about how to inspire and motivate teachers during the middle of the year when they are stressed to the max, etc.  Do you have any advice?

Here are a few ideas that came to my mind to help inspire and motivate some of Chicago’s amazing, but stressed out, teachers!
1. Sand Tray Activity: This might be fun if you already have sand tray materials. Get a couple sand trays (keep it simple with a tupaware box and minimal sand) and some miniatures. Ask the teachers to get in groups and, using the miniatures, create a picture in the sand of one side that pictures their best day and one side that pictures their worse day. Have them share with others when they are done and talk about those together. Sharing their bad day side will give them a sense of support and there will likely be a bit of humor. Sharing their good days will encourage them and remind them why they entered education in the first place. It will also allow you an opportunity to learn more about the needs of your teachers.
2. Stress Relief Education and Exercises: Talk about various ways to relieve stress in and out of the school. You can teach deep breathing and even go through a meditation activity. Inner Health Studio has a large variety of guided imagery scripts and worksheets on stress, anxiety, anger, and more. Your teachers would love you if you dim the lights and talk them through a guided imagery to relax and refresh them!
3. Tell Them How You Can Help: This is a great way to share all the many ways a school counselor or social worker and be of assistance to the teachers and other staff. I found this article, The Top 10 Ways School Counselors Can Support Teachers, to be a very straight forward list of how you can support the teachers. I suggest giving this as a handout as you go through each one on the list.
4. Anger Balloon Activity: I love this video on Anger Balloons because it is a fun demonstration of how anger can build up inside and explode if we don’t deal with it regularly. I use this in counseling and have the clients tell me what makes them angry and blow a little into the balloon with each thing. I suggest having one teacher blow into the balloon while the teachers shout out frustrations and things that stress them out throughout the year. Once the ballon is full, then you can continue with the demonstration about what would happen if you didn’t relieve some of the air (aka stress).
5. Filling Their Buckets: I wrote a post on bucket filling last year that I think would be a great activity to do with the teachers. I suggest getting the book. Read the book out loud for them. It’s a child’s book, but adults love getting read to! Then, have each teacher write down compliments, encouragement, and other bucket-filling statements for other teachers in the room. Depending on how many teacheres are there, you can have them all share in the meeting, or wait until afterward. You can even go so far as to get a “bucket” for every teacher so that others can drop special notes of encouragement for them over the next week, month, or semester.
If you are reading this and have ideas to share, please leave your comment!
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July 18, 2012 · 8:26 am

Foods That Make You Happy (and My Favorite Recipes!)

I woke up this morning feeling great and having more energy than lately. This is surprising since I am still up every couple of hours with a newborn. So, I started thinking about possible reasons for this improved mood and increase in energy. The answer? My diet! During my third trimester of pregnancy, I “indulged” myself with sweets and fats and carbs. Now that I’m out of excuses for eating all that junk food, I am making an effort to eat better and feed my family more healthful foods.

What To Eat

I decided to do a little research into what specific foods improve mood and energy and here’s what I found.

TodayHealth.com has a great article describing foods that improve your mood and mention that foods with these nutrients are important to look for in your meal choices:

Three specific nutrients to incorporate

Omega-3 fats Significant work is being conducted in the area of omega-3 fatty acids on mental performance. omega-3 fatty acids are present in the brain at higher levels than any other part of the body, and although this area has not been thoroughly researched, several review papers fully support the omega-3 use in psychiatry. Of particular interest is the ability of omega-3 fats to be mood lifting and to help possibly alleviate depression. Certainly a nutrient worth considering, but always speak with your physician before starting with supplements.

Foods rich in omega-3 fats include: oily fish (salmon, mackerel and sardines), ground flaxseeds, canola oil, walnuts and omega-3 fortified eggs.

Folic acid and B12 Two B vitamins — folate and vitamin B12 — seem to be important for mood. Studies have shown that low blood levels of these vitamins are sometimes related to depression, although no one is exactly sure why. Some scientists believe that these vitamins are used by the body to create seratonin, one of the key neurotransmitters that help normalize mood.

If you suffer from a mood disorder, it is important to continue to follow your doctor’s treatment recommendations, but you may want to consider taking a multivitamin with appropriate amounts of folate and B12, in addition to your antidepressant medications. Of course, eating a diet rich in these nutrients is important for maintaining mood, even if you are not clinically depressed.

Foods rich in folate: fortified whole-grain breakfast cereals, lentils, black-eyed peas, soybeans, oatmeal, mustard greens, beets, broccoli, sunflower seeds, wheat germ and oranges.

Foods rich in vitamin B12: shellfish (clams, oysters, crab), wild salmon (fresh or canned), fortified whole-grain breakfast cereal, lean beef, cottage cheese, low-fat yogurt, milk (skim, skim plus, 1% reduced-fat) and eggs.

Vitamin D In the past few years, research has suggested that vitamin D might help relieve mood disorders because it seems to increase the amounts of serotonin, one of the neurotransmitters responsible for mood. In particular, vitamin D seems to help the type of depression called “seasonal affective disorder (SAD),” or the winter blues.

Foods rich in vitamin D: fish with bones, fat free and low-fat milk, fortified soy milk and egg yolks. Because vitamin D-rich foods are so limited, it’s often beneficial to take a daily multivitamin which provides 400 IU.

WebMD also turned out to be a good resource, using a slideshow to present foods that boost energy levels. Foods mentioned in this slideshow include apples, whole grains and brown rice, almonds, lean meats, leafy greens, salmon, fiber, water, and fresh fruits!

Recent Recipes I Loved

I love seafood and last night I tried two new recipes that turned out to be wonderfully tasty. I had 3 servings!! But they are so healthful that it was guilt-free!

Shrimp and Spinach Salad from CookingLight.com

**Good source of Omega 3, B12, and Iron

The dressing for this salad was what really made it so wonderful. The salad was a bit skimpy for my taste, so I added raw sliced almonds and bits of turkey bacon. So delicious!

.

Crab, Corn, and Tomato Salad with Lemon-Basil Dressing ,

also by CookingLight.com

Also an absolutely delicious recipe! I didn’t have the red bell pepper, but it still turned out really tasty.

.

 Black Beans by Melissa d’Arabian

I used these black beans for a healthy taco salad dinner. You can get creative with your taco salads and even make it with healthier ingredients than I did, but this is what I had on hand. I included lean ground beef cooked with chopped onion and garlic, plain greek yogurt (sour cream substitute), chopped tomato, black olives, fresh jalapenos slices, lettuce, green onion, shredded cheese, and multigrain chips.

Oatmeal and Fresh Fruit

I didn’t have to follow a recipe for this one, but we have been eating this for breakfast lately. I cook the oatmeal with milk and serve with some kind of fruit. The most popular is blueberries, but I love adding strawberries to my oatmeal. Try to keep away from too much sugar or butter though. The fruit should add plenty of sweetness and flavor!

I’ve never posted recipes on this blog before, but there is a first time for everything, and I am a stong believer that diet, exercise, and sleep play a role in our psychological health! If you have a recipe or related link to share, please do!

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July 8, 2012 · 5:40 pm

Another Step In “All Tied Up with Worry”

If you have read my blog, you know I love sharing great therapeutic activities. I have already posted one of my favorites, which is using yarn to learn more about a person’s worries (see original post below). I added another step during a family therapy session that provided a strong visual impact and gave them an option to continue this technique at home.

  • I found face shapes of varying shades at a craft store and asked the client to choose a face that will represent them.

  • Instead of cutting paper squares to label the yarn, I used address labels since they are also stickers.
  • I then asked the client to stick each worry in the “brain” of their face shape. Once this was done, we talked about how worries can fill up their head and make it hard to think of other things, such as school work.

  • We then took each worry out of their “brain” and talked about various solutions and ways to deal with the worries. If the client chose, they could cut the worry down to make it shorter to indicate they felt a little better about the worry.

Since we used address labels to stick on the face shape, I demonstrated removing some of the worries. I emphasized the importance of talking about our problems and applying any stress reduction techniques we have reviewed in our sessions together. For this particular client, we referred to the relaxation flip books completed in a prior session.

  • The client took home their project and some blank labels so they can remove worries, or add worries. This was helpful for the mother to understand more about her child’s worries and removing or cutting a worry down also felt really good for the client!

Mom actually told me the whole family is on board in discussing their worries and the size of their worries with one another. This dialog has already improved the family’s communication and given the child permission to share their feelings with the parents. I was very excited to hear this!

Therapy is always full of opportunities for creativity. If you find another twist to this activity, or any others, please feel free to share!

Original Post On 4/16/12: 

Therapeutic Activity: All Tied Up With Worry

This is a great activity for helping someone to visualize their worries and gives great insight into what they may be worrying about the most. You can do this for yourself, your children, or professionals can use this on their clients. Great for all ages!!

The pictures below are from an actual client and I’ll discuss a little more about what I found.

What you will need: yarn, small squares of paper, and something to write with.

Next, talk about something the person worries about and pull out a string of yarn that represents how big the worry feels. Write the worry down on a piece of paper. Be sure to attach the worry to the string of yarn so you can keep track of which wory goes with which string of yarn.

Once all the worries have been mentioned and the yarn pulled, you can evaluate what you see. In my experience with this activity, I have found that some people have A LOT of worries. Others only have a few worries, but they may be really big. This also puts into perspective what worries are bigger than others. It’s a wonderful tool for gathering AND processing information!

This isn’t the greatest photo, but you can get the idea. There are three worries pictured, ranging in length from small to very long. The smallest worry is “worrying about mom not being able to support me” and the longest worry is getting in trouble for things he didn’t do. This is a school age child who had been getting into trouble so much lately that he was the first one pointed at when something went missing or a fight broke out in class. He was given an opportunity to talk about this issue and how he feels about getting in trouble so much.

This particular child did not have many worries, but some do. For those who have a lot of worries, we have balled up the yarn and talked about how all these worries in their head feel. Another option is to string the worries up into a web. I did this with a child around Halloween and he had a lot of fun, and actually added in some of those plastic spiders!

Many times the topics we are talking about can be emotionally heavy so adding in some fun and light-heartedness can help the person through the activity without leaving them feeling weighed down!

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June 18, 2012 · 4:54 pm

Fun and Easy To Make Relaxation Flip Books

Last month I came across these relaxation scripts online (link) that I found really fun and easy to use. This site was intended to offer techniques for anxious little ones to use when having to give blood. Kids had fun practicing these, and it was inexpensive to reproduce laminated flip books to send home with clients. Its also small enough for me to keep one on hand in my purse.

This was so easy to make.

  1. print the pictures in color from the website
  2. laminate the sheet
  3. cut out each picture individually
  4. punch a hold in the corner of each card
  5. slide each picture into a ring, such as a small key ring or notecard ring.

I have done this with boys, girls, older, younger, and even with families. After learning all the techniques, I have them choose their top 3 favorites to practice over the week when they feel angry, frustrated, or anxious. It’s a lot of fun and I have had great feedback from this simple, yet effective tool!

Here are the techniques. Each one is intended to target a certain part of the body, such as the jaw, shoulders, and arms. My 3 favorites are the Lemon, Turtle, and Cat! :)

Jaw: Chew That Carrot
Now, pretend that you are trying to eat a giant, hard carrot. It is very hard to chew. Bite down on it. As hard as you can. We want to turn that carrot into mush! Keep biting. (Hold for 10 seconds). Good. Now relax. You’ve eaten the carrot. Let yourself go as loose as you can.

Shoulders and Neck: Hide in Your Shell
Now pretend you are a turtle. Try to pull your head into your shell. Try to pull your shoulders up to your ears and push your head down into your shoulders. Hold it tight! (Hold for 10 seconds). Okay, you can come out now. Feel your shoulders relax.

Back: Swing Up High
Pretend you are on a swing at the park. Swing your upper body back and forth, back and forth. To get really high, use your arms to help you swing! Keep swinging! (Hold for 10 seconds). Great. You’re all done on the swing. Sit back and relax.

Hands and Arms: Squeeze a Lemon
Pretend you have a whole lemon in each hand. Now squeeze it hard. Try to squeeze all the juice out! Feel the tightness in your hand and arm as you squeeze. Squeeze hard! Don’t leave a single drop. (Hold for 10 seconds). Now relax and let the lemon drop from your hand. See how much better your hand and arm feel when they are relaxed.

Arms and Shoulders: Stretch Like a Cat
Pretend you are a furry, lazy cat and you just woke up from a nap. Stretch your arms out in front of you. Now raise them way up high over your head. Feel the pull in your shoulders. Stretch higher and try to touch the ceiling. (Hold for 10 seconds). Great! Let them drop very quickly and feel how good it is to be relaxed. It feels good and warm and lazy.

Face and Nose: Get That Fly Off Your Nose
Here comes a pesky old fly and he has landed on your nose! Try to get him off without using your hands. Wrinkle up your nose. Make as many wrinkles in your nose as you can. Scrunch up your nose real hard and hold it just as tight as you can. Notice that when you scrunch up your nose, your cheeks and your mouth and your forehead and your eyes all help you and they get tight, too. (Hold for 10 seconds). Good. You’ve chased him away. Now you can just relax and let your whole face go smooth.

Stomach: Squeeze Through a Fence
Now pretend that you want to squeeze through a narrow fence. You’ll have to make yourself very skinny if you’re going to make it through. Suck your stomach in, try to squeeze it against your back bone. Get it real small and tight. Hold it as tight as you can! (Hold for 10 seconds). Okay, you’ve made it! You got through the fence. Settle back and let your stomach come back out where it belongs.

Legs and Feet: Squish Your Toes in the Mud
Now pretend that you are standing barefoot in a big, fat mud puddle. Squish your toes down deep into the mud. Try to get your feet down to the bottom of the mud puddle. You’ll probably need your legs to help you push. Squish your toes down. Push your feet, hard! (Hold for 10 seconds). Okay, come back out now. Relax your feet, relax your legs, and relax your toes. It feels so good to be relaxed. No tenseness anywhere. You feel warm and tingly.

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June 4, 2012 · 6:27 pm

Add “Humor” To Your Life Survival Kit!

An unknown author is quoted as saying “Every survival kit should include a sense of humor.”

Free images from FreeDigitalPhotos.net 

What a great quote! I was reminded of this today when talking with someone getting ready to face an experience that, in the past, has proven to an absolute miserable time. Being the “helper type” I am, I automatically wanted to “talk about their feelings” and process all their worries about what might happen. Instead, I gave the reins of discussion over to the other person. I let them lead the topics and tone of conversation. I let them set the agenda for the next hour. Rather than talking about the issue, which was my initial desire, they decided to share something really funny with me. There was humor annd lighthearted joking throughout the hour. We laughed together!

From a counseling perspective, this can be viewed as avoidance or denial. Some may argue that I missed an opportunity to confront this person about their use of humor to avoid talking about their feelings. Maybe so… but we spent an hour the prior week talking about the heavy stuff. I honestly think what this person needed from me today was to let them laugh. Accept their lighter side. Maybe it is a defense mechanism. So what? I think it is a great one!

Don’t underestimate power of laughter to heal hurt and stress and fear and anger, even if just for the moment. Think about how good it feels to laugh with another person, especially when the laugh is so good it hurts!

I found an article on Psychcentral.com related to humor and it’s power to reduce stress and pain. The writer also left some good tips on adding humor to your every day life.

“Humor up” your work environment.Bring kids’ toys to work and keep them within reach. When you are stressed, take out a toy and play. That irate customer on the phone will have no idea that you are keeping your cool by playing with a Slinky. Place funny pictures of friends and loved ones around your office, including ones of you when you were a ridiculous-looking kid.

  • Create a humor file. Fill it with funny cartoons, sayings and jokes, as you run across them. When things are looking particularly grim, refer to your file. You’ll get a good laugh and be able to put things back in perspective in no time.
  • Create sitcom situations. When you find yourself in a nerve-wracking situation (such as locking your keys in the car), think of how Groucho or Lucy would handle it.
  • For recreation, do some of the things you did as a kid. Go to the zoo, an amusement park, bowling or swinging — the sky’s the limit! You’ll find that these activities completely take you away from all of that “heavy” stuff. And the escape will do wonders for your attitude.
  • Exaggerate a stressful situation. Take your situation and make it even bigger than it is. You might think this will cause more stress; however, blowing the problem up will allow you to see the absurdity of it, and afford you a great belly laugh.
  • Invite friends over for a “come as you are” party — and insist that they come as they are!
  • Host a slumber party. You’re never too old! Have friends bring pillows and blankets, eat junk food, and stay up all night telling scary stories. Trust me, this will provide you with a new perspective — a hysterically funny one.

So go out today and be silly, tell a corny joke, and make yourself and someone else laugh! You deserve the mental break! Need some help? Check out these Top 5 Funny Websites!

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May 9, 2012 · 3:48 pm

Creating a Calm Down Box

The idea of a calm down bin for kids is a fantastic concept that has been around for a while. I have a calm down box in my play room and I am always looking for new ideas on how to build these with my clients. Personal side note: my “calm down box” involves a warm bath, candles, glass of wine, and spa CD, but kids don’t necessarily go for that!

When to use:

These are perfect for encouraging your child to calm down from a tantrum, occupy themself while waiting for something (say lunch), or anytime they feel frustrated, angry, or even sad. Everything in your box should represent a positive and acceptable means of managing emotions.

There are a couple of blogs that recently highlighted the calm down box idea- Here We Are Together and Positive Parenting. They offer some good descriptions on putting together your boxes.

What to Include:

Calm down boxes should contain items that appeal to the senses (or you may hear the phrase “sensory toys”). Basically, toys that feel good to look at, touch, smell, and hear.

  • rice bin
  • glitter bottle
  • soft pillow and blanket
  • squeeze toys
  • playdough
  • sensory (textured) balls
  • calming music

Items that focus attention are also good to include.

  • books
  • rubix cube
  • coloring materials

And items that encourage deep breathing.

  • bubbles
  • pinwheels

Make Your Own Items!

For some homemade items (great for activities in session too), check these out:

Sensory Balloons

Homemade Kaleidoscope

Homemade Playdough

Sensory Bottles

Pinwheel Craft

Colorful Rice Sensory Bin

The homemade items are half the fun of putting these boxes together. These activities encourage creativity and personalization into each item. Kids love to know they can use something them made by hand!

As always, questions/comments/suggestions are welcomed!

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May 7, 2012 · 5:30 pm

Is It Possible to Choose Our Mood?

Many therapists at some point in their practice, myself included, espouse the idea that people can make a choice about how they feel and how they respond to circumstances.  For example, when I am getting ready for the day tomorrow, I can proclaim that I choose to be in a good mood and when something does not go as planned, I can choose to respond positively and rationally. Psychology Today even has a blog post out titled Stress Is a Choice: How to Give Up Getting Worked Up. It’s a great post that highlights how people can choose whether they will feel stressed. As I was reading this piece, automatically nodding my head in agreement, I paused and thought “Boy, I wish it were as easy as it sounds. I would be stress free and happy 24/7!”

Cognitive behaviorist believe whole-heartedly that your thoughts will directly affect your mood.  Let’s say you have a co-worker who is always in a negative mood in the morning. If you think to yourself, “Her mood ruins my morning every day,” then you will feel frustrated and crabby. If you think to yourself, “Her bad mood sure does make for a hard day for her. I’m glad I choose to be happy,” then you will feel less frustrated and probably happy!

First let me say that I strongly believe in the cognitive behavioral thearpy techniques and apply it in my own life, as well as teach it to my clients. However, I also think you should get a disclaimer first. The truth is, choosing our moods, thoughts, and behaviors is not easy! In fact, it takes a lot of practice and mental energy, especially in the beginning. There are so many factors that affect our moods (or so we are led to believe) that it often feels like you are constantly playing defense against the environment. There will always be factors out of your control, such as your c0-worker’s mood, or whether the printer jams when you have a deadline to meet. The goal is to make your responses thoughtful, and then emotional, rather than emotional first. Secondly, recognize that there are circumstances which are extremely difficult to nearly impossible for one to choose their thoughts or mood. These can include serious mental illness, hormonal imbalance, and substance use.

Before I get emails about the simplistic manner in which I presented Cognitive Behavioral Therapy, I must mention that this therapeutic intervention entails so much more than this post give credit. For more information, you can visit PsychCentral and the National Association for Cognitive Behavioral Therapists.

To answer the title of this post… Yes, I believe it is possible to choose our mood in most normal every day circumstances. Remember, practice makes for more success!

What about you? Do you think this concept works?

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April 22, 2012 · 5:06 pm

Reaching Potential Beyond Our Comfort Zone

Fear of getting out of our comfort zone can be one of our greatest limitations to meeting our full potential… in therapy, our careers, our relationships, and in life.

This weekend I was given the rare opportunity to have the house to myself overnight and into most of the next day. Boy, was I looking forward to this quiet time! I had a list of plans, such as getting a long nap, working out, and so on. When the time finally came and everyone was out of the house, I found myself unexpectedly uncomfortable and out of place. I am so used to activities and responsibilities that come with marriage and parenthood that not having these, even for the brief time, felt strange. Even though this was good for me, I was not used to this.

This comfort zone is one of the strongest forces holding people in their current place in life. It is so strong, that even when we know that a change is needed in our life, or even in our child’s life, we will hesitate and unconsciously resist the change.

“I’m comfortable with my wall”

I met with a young lady who had recently figured out she was holding up an invisible ”wall” between herself and others in order to keep from getting hurt. Painful losses in her life had left her fearful of losing another person close to her and this wall was defense mechanism. Evident to her and to me, this wall was keeping her from meaningful friendships, some that could even help her to heal from her past. “I’m comfortable with my wall” she shared. This wall was part of her for many years and there was so much fear and discomfort in the thought of pulling down the wall.

“I’ve been taking care of him for so long”

A mother sat in my office while we discussed parenting techniques and her frustrations about her son’s behavior. She described her newest plan in behavior modification. While the plan was a decent idea, I wasn’t sure she was ready to do what was needed to make it work. She desparately desired for her child to display some responsibility and ability to  handle some developmentaly appropriate self-care tasks. This new behavior plan simply put the responsibility on her son to make choices and deal with the consequences. For example, if he cleaned his room in the morning he could play basketball after school. Simple, right? Not so much. Mom had become so accustomed to being in control, so used to monitoring his actions and REMINDING him to clean his room, that committing not to continue in this role proved harder than she expected. I bet this sounds familiar to many parents.

These are just a couple examples of people faced with the reality that their comfort zone may be their greatest hurdle (at that moment). Success in therapy, as in life, is about gaining strength to move out of our comfort zone. It’s when my clients express discomfort that I know we are getting some real work done. I know they are moving out of their place of comfort, beyond what they know and into a place of newness and personal empowerment.

So how do we reach beyond our comfort zone, our place of safety?

* First, identify where your comfort zone resides. Are you a parent who tells your child to be independent, but sends a message that you still want control? Are you stuck in an unhealthy, unhappy relationship because you are afraid of what is on the other side? Are you stalling on a desirable career move because you have been at the same company for so long?

* Once you know your comfort zone, make that oh-so-difficult decision whether you will move beyond or stay put. Own your choice and own your decision by using an I statement. For example, “I will …” and “I want…” Leave out the “I think.”

* Write down your decision and the reasons for your choice. You will need to reflect back to this during your journey.

* Gain support for your goal. Whether this comes from your therapist, a friend, a colleague, or group, get others to help you along the way.

* Give yourself credit for your efforts. You are strong and you are brave!

My focus here is on the comfort zone as it relates in my therapy practice, but this topic is relevant in all areas of our life. I love this post from a blogger on Career Chit-Chat called Embrace the Chaos. It is a reminder that success in our careers often calls us to be uncomfortable!

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Living In The Moment

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