Tag Archives: success

July 30, 2012 · 8:30 am

Psychological Traits of Olympic Champions

Let the Games Begin!

Like most of you, I have been looking forward to watching the Olympics this year. The excitment from all the countries, the anticipation of watching your favorite athletes and games, and the overall spirit surrounding the festivities just draws you in!

I’m always so impressed and intrigued by the athletes and their strong commitment to their sport. They are certainly among the few individuals who show such strength of heart and mind to be able to accomplish what they do.

Research on Psychological Traits of Our Champs

A recent study on the psychological characteristics of U.S. Olympic champions was conducted by researchers at the University of North Carolina and they found a number of common characteristics among these athletes.

  • High Motivation and Commitment

These athletes were competitive and looked forward to and really enjoyed competing. Their competitive drive was fueled by an internal desire or intrinsic motivation to accomplish their goals, as opposed to external rewards. The 10 Olympians were goal oriented. They not only set goals, but they were also good at deriving multiple plans or pathways for achieving their goals. Finally, their dedication to their goals was extremely impressive.

  • Optimistic and Positive

This allowed them to remain positive when faced with difficulties and rebound more quickly when failures were experienced.

  • Positive Perfectionists

Adaptive perfectionists set high standards and like to be organized, but they are low on concern over mistakes, doubts about actions and concern over parental criticism (when young).

  • Ability to Focus

The Olympians had the ability to concentrate or focus on key performance-related factors while effectively blocking out distractions. They were described as having “the ability to dial in” and “the ability to intensely focus and quiet the mind.”

  • Ability to Handle Stress and Cope with Adversity

Having the ability to handle stress and cope with adversity allowed these athletes the capacity to deal with the routine setbacks and anxiety associated with training and competing in developmental and elite levels of competition.

  • Mentally Tough

some of the more common components of mental toughness focused on resilience, perseverance and the ability to successfully deal with adversity.

  • Sport Intelligence

 It consisted of such themes as the ability to analyze performance, being innovative relative to one’s sport technique, being a student of the sport, making good sport-related decisions, understanding the nature of elite sport and being a quick learner.

What We Can Learn

So, other than knowing what makes these individuals totally awesome, what else have we learned?

1. Other successful people possess these traits. I haven’t done the google search on this yet, but I imagine that these are also the traits of other people who have been successful in their field. Consider Steve Jobs, Oprah Winfrey, and U.S. Presidents. To be on the top in your field (get there and stay there) takes a lot of commitment, innovation, sacrifice, and mental toughness.

2. You are probably already surrounded by ”Olympians.” Now, also consider the successful people in your family, your community, and your career field. I bet you can pick out a number of these traits and find that those who are successful exhibit a number of these characteristics. Learn from these individuals. Talk to them about what makes them successful, what motivates them, and how they balance their work and success with family and a personal life.

3. You can be an “Olympian” in your own life. I don’t know about you, but I’m a little old to take up a sport and achieve Olympic Champion status, but that doesn’t mean I can’t strive for success in my own life. Being an Olympic Champion is about become the best at what you do. What do you want to strive to be the best at? It’s your life and you get to choose!

4. You can pass these traits along to your kids.If we want our kids to possess the traits that make one successful in life, we have to teach, model, encourage, cheer, and guide them along the way. Encourage your kids to find interests, remain focused, and show passion for what they love, and you will have done them an enormous favor for a life of success!

Now, enjoy the 2012 Olympics!!

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April 22, 2012 · 5:06 pm

Reaching Potential Beyond Our Comfort Zone

Fear of getting out of our comfort zone can be one of our greatest limitations to meeting our full potential… in therapy, our careers, our relationships, and in life.

This weekend I was given the rare opportunity to have the house to myself overnight and into most of the next day. Boy, was I looking forward to this quiet time! I had a list of plans, such as getting a long nap, working out, and so on. When the time finally came and everyone was out of the house, I found myself unexpectedly uncomfortable and out of place. I am so used to activities and responsibilities that come with marriage and parenthood that not having these, even for the brief time, felt strange. Even though this was good for me, I was not used to this.

This comfort zone is one of the strongest forces holding people in their current place in life. It is so strong, that even when we know that a change is needed in our life, or even in our child’s life, we will hesitate and unconsciously resist the change.

“I’m comfortable with my wall”

I met with a young lady who had recently figured out she was holding up an invisible ”wall” between herself and others in order to keep from getting hurt. Painful losses in her life had left her fearful of losing another person close to her and this wall was defense mechanism. Evident to her and to me, this wall was keeping her from meaningful friendships, some that could even help her to heal from her past. “I’m comfortable with my wall” she shared. This wall was part of her for many years and there was so much fear and discomfort in the thought of pulling down the wall.

“I’ve been taking care of him for so long”

A mother sat in my office while we discussed parenting techniques and her frustrations about her son’s behavior. She described her newest plan in behavior modification. While the plan was a decent idea, I wasn’t sure she was ready to do what was needed to make it work. She desparately desired for her child to display some responsibility and ability to  handle some developmentaly appropriate self-care tasks. This new behavior plan simply put the responsibility on her son to make choices and deal with the consequences. For example, if he cleaned his room in the morning he could play basketball after school. Simple, right? Not so much. Mom had become so accustomed to being in control, so used to monitoring his actions and REMINDING him to clean his room, that committing not to continue in this role proved harder than she expected. I bet this sounds familiar to many parents.

These are just a couple examples of people faced with the reality that their comfort zone may be their greatest hurdle (at that moment). Success in therapy, as in life, is about gaining strength to move out of our comfort zone. It’s when my clients express discomfort that I know we are getting some real work done. I know they are moving out of their place of comfort, beyond what they know and into a place of newness and personal empowerment.

So how do we reach beyond our comfort zone, our place of safety?

* First, identify where your comfort zone resides. Are you a parent who tells your child to be independent, but sends a message that you still want control? Are you stuck in an unhealthy, unhappy relationship because you are afraid of what is on the other side? Are you stalling on a desirable career move because you have been at the same company for so long?

* Once you know your comfort zone, make that oh-so-difficult decision whether you will move beyond or stay put. Own your choice and own your decision by using an I statement. For example, “I will …” and “I want…” Leave out the “I think.”

* Write down your decision and the reasons for your choice. You will need to reflect back to this during your journey.

* Gain support for your goal. Whether this comes from your therapist, a friend, a colleague, or group, get others to help you along the way.

* Give yourself credit for your efforts. You are strong and you are brave!

My focus here is on the comfort zone as it relates in my therapy practice, but this topic is relevant in all areas of our life. I love this post from a blogger on Career Chit-Chat called Embrace the Chaos. It is a reminder that success in our careers often calls us to be uncomfortable!

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April 18, 2012 · 5:35 pm

Commitment, Success, Then JOY

A Lesson From One Child’s Triumph Over Anxiety

“Joy Is the Feeling of Grinning Inside”

This quote by Melba Colgrove is a good description of how I felt today when I took note of a client’s success in therapy. Of all the topics I have to discuss, I felt it most appropriate to share a success story with you. What I hope you take from this example, is that success does come! Those who find success in the journey to self-improvement, whether they are children, teens, or adults, endure many challenges and sometimes harsh moments of self-reflection, to reach that place of “grinning inside.”

Therapy is not much different than committing to an exercise routine. In fact, they are very much the same as each are forms of self-improvement- one of the body and the other of the mind. Each require you to make a decision, a commitment for change and self-improvement. Each are more successful with the guidance from a professional. And each have both painful, challenging moments, as well as personally revealing and rewarding moments.

Joy in Her New Confidence

My success story today is about a young client. I will call her Shelly for the purpose of this post. Shelly is an elementary age child who came to me to address her severe anxiety, which was coupled with a very low self-esteem and poor self-confidence. Shelly had difficulty in her school and other activities because she would become so emotional and anxious over the tasks presented to her. In Shelly’s therapy sessions, I allowed her to direct her play and make the decisions about what she called the toys and how she played with them. In other words, I gave Shelly a safe environment to test herself and encouraged her to develop confidence in her capabilities. At first, this was so difficult for her. She wanted me to identify every toy and tell her where to go and became visibly upset when I encouraged her to decide. Shelly would also attempt puzzles and other mastery type toys, only to give up and express defeat when they became a challenge to her.

Fast forward about 9 months. In recent sessions, Shelly has come into the playroom with eagerness and excitement. She looks around the room and makes a quick decision on what she wants to play with or complete. Sometimes, she chooses more mastery toys and makes sure I watch her as she attempts the challenge over and over again until she is satisfied. Other times, she will choose an art activity in which she will decide what to paint and what colors to use (yes, she sought my approval on her colors at first!). Shelly will also choose to play with dolls or house items, such as the kitchen. I am no longer needed to name the items for her, as she will confidently tell me she is serving cake and pizza! This new self-confidence has also revealed her excellent ability to problem solve. I was so excited to observe her solve several of her own “problems” today during play by coming up with unique solutions and actively seeking items in the room that may help her with her dilemma. When she needed my help, she would appropriately ask for it. What a treat to witness!

So, if you are in therapy, have a child in therapy, or are a professional, you know that feeling like nothing you do makes a difference or that progress is moving so very slow. I’m here to remind you today that success can be possible. Please join me in this joyous feeling today as we now all know of one little girl will enjoy a fuller and healthier life!

LIFE IS…
by Mother Theresa

Life is an opportunity, benefit from it.

Life is beauty, admire it.

Life is a dream, realize it.

Life is a challenge, meet it.

Life is a duty, complete it.

Life is a game, play it.

Life is a promise, fulfill it.

Life is sorrow, overcome it.

Life is a song, sing it.

Life is a struggle, accept it.

Life is a tragedy, confront it.

Life is an adventure, dare it.

Life is luck, make it.

Life is too precious, do not destroy it.

Life is life, fight for it.

For more inspirational poems or quotes, check out Affirmations-for-Success.com and athorsden.com.

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