Defining “Commitment” in Your Marriage

A new Science Daily article reviewed a recent study by UCLA on what commitment means to various couples and whether or not they stay together. Click here to read the article.
A few things about this article stand out to me so I thought I would share!

First, an underlying message here is that marriage will have challenges and difficulties. I am going on my 10th year of marriage and second kid this summer so I feel I can speak from some experience about the ups and downs a couple faces. No matter how in love you are, there are always difficult times you will face as a couple. We had our first baby later in our marriage so I can only empathize with couples who have children sooner than they are ready because they add an entirely new dynamic to a relationship.

Secondly, how we function in a marriage is about choices. The article mentions “choices” in several different angles- the couples choose how they view an argument, they choose how they respond to one another, they choose their priorities, and they choose to make sacrifices.

Third, it can be an easy word to ready over quickly, but the word “both” was used when describing the couple’s choices and perspectives. This is an important finding in the study because it tells us that marriage is very much of a team effort. One person cannot be responsible for making all the sacrifices or being the only one to make personal changes.

And finally, I like how they recommend against “bank-account relationships,” meaning don’t keep score!

I hope one day to be an old woman and old man, celebrating our 50th wedding anniversary! I realize this will be about choices, sacrifice, and personal growth along the way, but to me, it’s worth it! In recognition of the upcoming Saint Patrick’s Day, here’s a toast to the last 10 years and the future 40!

Author: Kim Peterson, MA, LPC-S, RPT

Kim is a Licensed Professional Counselor, Clinical Supervisor, and Registered Play Therapist in Dallas, Texas.

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